tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24273269235420282892024-03-05T04:57:40.157-08:002011 NBA DRAFT FUCKFACE2000I've never felt better in my lifeBethlehem Shoalshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14741602514986329384noreply@blogger.comBlogger48125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2427326923542028289.post-73295906690370992372011-06-23T21:00:00.000-07:002011-06-23T21:04:18.109-07:00Stay HungaryThe Hungarian Nic Batum just got picked. It's midnight and everyone else who was posting on this is obviously deep into their lives by now. We can say goodnight, now, right? Goodnight.<br /><br /><object width="425" height="349"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/x_o_2P6TYAk?version=3&hl=en_US&rel=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/x_o_2P6TYAk?version=3&hl=en_US&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="560" height="349" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object>David Rothhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09917742851340521929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2427326923542028289.post-39654656138371759022011-06-23T20:51:00.000-07:002011-06-23T20:57:10.422-07:00The Twitters Are ExplodingLakers and Mavs trolling the league right now. I'm sort of enjoying the befuddlement of the scout types at trying to assess "the best player ever to come out of Qatar" and whoever this Chuketcetera Congo-by-way-of-Bakersfield (put your own Grantland footnote reading "oofs" next to this) dude with the 0.7 PPG is, and I sort of enjoy it every year. But I'm always kind of peevish at successful teams treating these picks as if they don't give a shit. Of course, there's no real reason why the Lakers or Mavs should give a shit about these picks -- Ben Hansbrough has as much of a chance of helping the Mavs as does that more-or-less notional African guy in a Zapruder-grade game tape. But at the same time, there's a troll-y whiff to all this.<br /><br />Also I think it might be time for Stuart Scott to go to bed.David Rothhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09917742851340521929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2427326923542028289.post-65120015459840672532011-06-23T20:12:00.001-07:002011-06-23T21:10:17.203-07:00Tyler, The UncreatedJeremy Tyler seems like he'd be an interesting story, right? He <a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2009/writers/andy_staples/04/23/tyler.europe/index.html">bailed on high school</a>, went to go get that money in foreign professional leagues and kind of got it, while apparently not getting much better at basketball. But a two-year journey to nations defined by generalized fervor, unrelenting paradox and intense weirdness -- Israel and Japan, in this case -- and assorted frustrations and exertions in those foreign lands would seem to be the sort of thing that would teach all sorts of hard and valuable lessons inevitably denied those of us who spent our late teens concealing pony kegs and bluffing about Foucault at various institutions of higher learning. <br /><br />Or, maybe it's more accurate to say that such a thing would seem that way to those of us who spent our late teens concealing pony kegs and bluffing about Foucault at institutions of higher learning. Because for Tyler himself, who remains a good athlete in a big body and who apparently still has some getting-better to do, the experience seems to have been <a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2011/writers/the_bonus/06/20/jeremy.tyler/index.html">roughly as terrifying as you'd expect</a>, if you think about what it would actually be like to be a 17-year-old from Los Angeles in a clammy gym in Haifa with some thickly accented dude calling you a faggot and making you run suicides.<br /><br />The lesson, maybe, is more than just an exercise in umpteenthery on the projection tip. Or that, but also a reminder of how young and fragile and multiply parlous these particular people-turned-transactions actually are. Jeremy Tyler is 19 years old, and will be lucky to stick with Golden State next year. He made some money abroad and could make it again if it comes to that, but he doesn't know what he's about -- or even really know how to figure out what he's about -- any more than any other 19-year-old does. As with everyone hearing their name called tonight, it's hard not to wish him well. It's strange and sad how much closer his basketball/narrative journey seems to the end than the beginning, though, considering where we all were -- and where he actually really is, in the broader sense -- at that ridiculous age.David Rothhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09917742851340521929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2427326923542028289.post-72966450808196211182011-06-23T20:12:00.000-07:002011-06-23T20:15:49.607-07:00JORTS<a href="http://rivals.yahoo.com/ncaa/basketball/blog/the_dagger/post/How-Kentucky-s-Josh-Harrellson-became-known-as-?urn=ncaab-328544">JORTS!</a> (Classic Bilas-trying-not-to-be-amused-by-himself take, too) I'm working on something more interesting than this about someone else, but I am kind of delighted that affable hamsteak and serviceable-ish rebounder Josh Harrellson got picked and talked about. That is all.David Rothhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09917742851340521929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2427326923542028289.post-46599749081082502082011-06-23T20:04:00.000-07:002011-06-23T20:11:13.687-07:00IMPORTANT INTERVIEW<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_3RgcLFo8f4KcLXUWIs5LnIATcAgYshBsa9UQbZouiCEUUGH_rxoINEwfI-q64K5Hc9fnNbcwn1hGeYiyxyLTIKGqBfi0oYkc3Gjf8kYw0LcEusVYfLtEC7klZ5Io1y7stMmerYorY60/s1600/interview.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_3RgcLFo8f4KcLXUWIs5LnIATcAgYshBsa9UQbZouiCEUUGH_rxoINEwfI-q64K5Hc9fnNbcwn1hGeYiyxyLTIKGqBfi0oYkc3Gjf8kYw0LcEusVYfLtEC7klZ5Io1y7stMmerYorY60/s320/interview.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5621617284863648194" border="0" /></a>Michael Katzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16164012969986533827noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2427326923542028289.post-14611316857648015342011-06-23T19:39:00.000-07:002011-06-23T19:46:21.928-07:00A Great Miracle Happened HereExcept for the part where the Blazers traded Andre Miller. I blame Brandon Roy, and without Miller and his golden lobs, that team is headless.Bethlehem Shoalshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14741602514986329384noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2427326923542028289.post-14421497050738164932011-06-23T19:18:00.000-07:002011-06-23T19:20:15.749-07:00Biggest Losers<span class="Apple-style-span">Someone should give Terrence Jones and Jeremy Lamb a hug. </span>Or each his own. Up to you, bro. <span class="Apple-style-span">And buy them a dinner or two, so long as it doesn't violate NCAA rules. Those guys should have woken up as millionaires tomorrow.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2427326923542028289.post-55563265302414739522011-06-23T19:12:00.000-07:002011-06-23T19:13:59.622-07:00The *Other* Morris BrotherMichigan fans are eagerly waiting to learn about the fate of Darius Morris, the Wolverines' erstwhile point guard who declared for this weak draft rather than returning to college for an outside chance at a Big Ten title and another year of jump-shot drills. Morris is a "big point guard" at 6'4", and beyond that...he's...good at dribbling a lot with his right hand? Actually, no question--that's what he's good at. And at taking awkward shots in the lane which make you cringe all the way until they make it to the bottom of the net. Even seeing one halfway down is not enough assurance that it was a good decision.<div><br /></div><div>Morris is a telling microcosm for a draft governed by lowest-common-denominator reasoning. He has a bad jump shot, no left hand, and he lacks elite athleticism. This last condition is what Jay Bilas diagnoses as "not yet [being] a great athlete," which itself is not great. (After all, how many humans, basketball players or otherwise, develop elite latent physical skills any time after birth?) Still, Morris impressed some NBA scouts enough during his workouts that he was projected as high as a mid-first-round pick at various times precedent to tonight's depressing spectacle. If he sneaks into the back end of this first round, go to bed knowing that he will be paid guaranteed millions for the next three years, at least, all for being not awful enough on a night when every pick after the first has induced some kind of nausea.</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2427326923542028289.post-5435113468136324582011-06-23T19:07:00.000-07:002011-06-23T21:29:06.462-07:00Serpent and the Rainbow, Part InfinityThere's not much I can say about how incredibly sad I find everything the Nets do that I haven't already said <a href="http://www.theawl.com/2010/04/byrne-to-run-the-new-jersey-nets-exit-the-meadowlands">a longish time ago</a> and also <a href="http://www.awolfamongwolves.com/?p=507">slightly more recently</a>. Their last NBA Draft in Newark seems savvy enough -- MarShon Brooks, for those who haven't seen him, is really good at scoring the basketball. (This is also true for those who have seen him) But the whole shabby, craven process through which they extricated themselves from my home state -- you remember it, it's the one that makes that honeybaked nightmare Clay Bennett look comparatively benign -- trails a stink that will take a long time to get out of that arena. I don't know what this says about me, but I'm sort of proud of the fact that I'll never care about that team again. Call it venal or petty or whatever else -- definitely the first two, and a couple of others besides -- but given all the things I overlook because I enjoy watching sports so much, I guess what pleases me about showing this particular zombie out of my sports-watching life is that I can still even find the door.<br /><br /><object width="425" height="349"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/geT2bYzvLcw?version=3&hl=en_US&rel=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/geT2bYzvLcw?version=3&hl=en_US&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="349" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object>David Rothhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09917742851340521929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2427326923542028289.post-5577475951287933552011-06-23T19:01:00.000-07:002011-06-23T19:02:49.944-07:00Other FishGetting increasingly excited about the other things my DVR is clocking right now. <span style="font-style: italic;">Real Housewives of New York</span>, I'm looking at you.Bethlehem Shoalshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14741602514986329384noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2427326923542028289.post-91734645782084134862011-06-23T18:49:00.000-07:002011-06-23T18:58:02.984-07:00Mirotic CityI know it's been a while since we've seen this many Central and Eastern Europeans taken in the first round, so <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">ESPN's</span> broadcast team can be forgiven for not being as well-versed in Balkan geography as they could. That said, Stu Scott calling Nikola <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Mirotic</span> Serbian, while the network ran footage of him in a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Montengro</span> Jersey is incomprehensibly stupid.Jason Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08205366790251169698noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2427326923542028289.post-4090152612949789212011-06-23T18:45:00.000-07:002011-06-23T18:53:15.094-07:00Sure, It's A StealThe other day Glenn Kenny tweeted something "wait until you call something haunting, or else how do you know, you know?" That's probably how it should be with draft steals, but I feel secure in calling Kenneth Faried a steal for the Nuggets. He's one of the few players in this draft—forget about the bottom of the first—who has one truly elite skill. And as we all know from people like Kevin Pelton, rebounding translates well from college to the pros. It's like DeJuan Blair never existed in the minds of people drafting. I also like that when it came time for his interview, there was a sense of calm, inevitability, and little else. Too many players feign a politician's enthusiasm or play it way too cool. Faried knew it was going to happen, it did, and his pro career started. It's funny, I defended the Heat's "Yes We Did" rally all spring, but at the same time, if you're Kenneth Faried, making the NBA is neither a surprise nor something to act jaded about. It's time to go to work. But not without a hometown crowd to remind you that this matters. There's just a long way to go from here.<br /><br />I don't know where in the modern era Ibaka could have purchases that coat. It's not the color so much as it is the collar.Bethlehem Shoalshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14741602514986329384noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2427326923542028289.post-38204834101211540902011-06-23T18:42:00.000-07:002011-06-23T18:49:00.250-07:00Relentless Heart MotorI am always and everywhere in favor of nice things happening to people from Newark, and Kenneth Faried's plus-ones were all very welcome. But between Bilas just saying adjectives and Scott describing him as "the greatest rebounder in the history of the modern era," I'm thinking that maybe someone should do something about the microphones.<br /><br />Although there was a nice moment of confusion by way of Scott's talking about his parents "bringing him to the courts in Newark." My brother-in-law was thinking of those as halls-of-justice type courts, and the mission as being more of a scared-straight type thing. (Also, I'm under no illusions about Faried being anything but a better-socialized Balkman, but 1) I like Balkman and 2) Denver, in J.R. Smith and Faried, now has two epically idiosyncratic Jersey people on their roster, which certainly does not make me like them less)David Rothhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09917742851340521929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2427326923542028289.post-89396380231245761622011-06-23T18:39:00.000-07:002011-06-23T18:45:28.058-07:00Re: SpinAs a guy who does not usually watch the NBA draft and is really more interested in watching Jeff Van Gundy, hero of his early manhood, get tired and start to spout extremely technical word salad than he is in seeing where which player he hasn't heard of goes to which team he doesn't really care about, I am now thinking that the Republican debates would be significantly improved by having ten-minute interruptions during which pundits judged the candidates while the candidates were listening. The NBA draft seems at this stage to embrace the Heisenberg principle, and it seems a failure of rival entertainments that they don't.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2427326923542028289.post-49825434671703773712011-06-23T18:38:00.001-07:002011-06-23T18:47:12.782-07:00SKFN()*&Y3!!!!!!???!Things I saw in twenty minutes during a dinner on which I almost choked:<div><br /></div><div>- Gregg Popovich discussed as "George"</div><div><br /></div><div>- Landry Fields confused for Carl Landry</div><div><br /></div><div>- The Knicks drafting a guy about whom the nicest thing said was that he is going to work on treating basketball like a job</div><div><br /></div><div>- The Pacers trading for another not-good-enough point guard</div><div><br /></div><div>- The Timberwolves assembling 300 point guards and 400 forwards who can't really bang</div><div><br /></div><div>- Someone referred to as a "future interim general manager"</div><div><br /></div><div>- A draft ticker which looked like a practical joke. Redundancies and reaches everywhere. Do NBA general managers realize that there actually will be basketball after the lockout? They know what a lockout is, right? If so, why does this draft look and feel like something happening at 4 AM on the last night of college?</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2427326923542028289.post-2079721138315393122011-06-23T18:38:00.000-07:002011-06-23T18:39:13.274-07:00Dear Television 2<a class=" twitter-atreply" name="WojYahooNBA" href="http://twitter.com/WojYahooNBA" rel="nofollow"><span class="at">@</span><span class="at-text">WojYahooNBA</span></a> The Rockets and Wolves have agreed to trade J Flynn and Montiejunas to Houston for Brad Miller, 23rd pick and future 1st<br /><br /><a class=" twitter-atreply" name="SpearsNBAYahoo" href="http://twitter.com/SpearsNBAYahoo" rel="nofollow"><span class="at">@</span><span class="at-text">SpearsNBAYahoo</span></a>: Nuggets get Andre Miller back from Portland for Raymond Felton. Probably swap picks.Bethlehem Shoalshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14741602514986329384noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2427326923542028289.post-40350912800974211052011-06-23T18:37:00.000-07:002011-06-23T18:40:58.954-07:00Plug Me InProjecting Stuart Scott's voice throughout an arena -- any arena -- is not a good look! Everyone can hear him when you do that. You have to know that shit, guys. (Also, as long as the draft is in Newark, maybe Redman could get to announce the picks in the second round?)David Rothhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09917742851340521929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2427326923542028289.post-61836498281228135402011-06-23T18:27:00.000-07:002011-06-23T18:35:41.675-07:00Dear TelevisionThis Spurs/Pacers deal was made about half an hour ago, even sooner, since Twitter had it then. I fail to see why it couldn't be mentioned sooner. Maybe it was on the crawler; I didn't see it. It shows you just how secondary basketball next year is to draft night, and how little sense this coverage seems to have of any basketball that came before it. Even the previews make no difference. The draft crew has months to prepare and is still woefully uninformed, which is even less excusable than Brandon Knight knowing nothing about the Pistons. It's their job to know. Instead, they throw around language whose only relevance is to itself, and describe what's going on with NBA teams like they never really knew them to begin with. Except for Jeff Van Gundy, of course. He's gone soft. Shouldn't he have killed someone by now? I guess, like Bilas robbed of his venom, Van Gundy has been relaxed by the doldrums.<br /><br />Joey Litman just called me enraged. He came home for the Knicks picks, and between that and this coverage, has decided to swear off the NBA for months and months and months.Bethlehem Shoalshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14741602514986329384noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2427326923542028289.post-16980471784040306692011-06-23T18:24:00.000-07:002011-06-23T18:37:27.611-07:00The Best of BilasJay Bilas has <a href="http://twitter.com/#!/jaybilas">a Twitter feed</a> and scotch-intensive rapport with Bill Raftery has done a lot to make me kind of like him, and I already liked him for <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0082112/">being in "I Come In Peace."</a> (I like to think that he still calls Brian Benben sometimes, just to say what up) But I'm not totally buying into him in the Mel Kiper/designated-player-ranker role. I have no problem seeing the next ten players (per some random and undefined criteria) appear along the bottom of the screen. But I feel a little insulted at the suggestion that Bilas -- a busy man who lives in the United States and watches and talks about college basketball for a living -- has an opinion on Davis Bertans, guard of Lithuania. That said, I trust him on Nolan Smith. Especially the 'solid citizen' part. Bilas would know -- he has been checking his voting record.David Rothhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09917742851340521929noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2427326923542028289.post-55625669760394363292011-06-23T18:21:00.000-07:002011-06-23T18:26:33.717-07:00Gate CrashersWe've finally reached my favorite part of draft night. The stakes are lower-and the names less familiar, but it's always fun to see which players bought tickets in hopes of stepping over that rail and "surprising" David stern.Jason Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08205366790251169698noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2427326923542028289.post-1136814642403910652011-06-23T18:18:00.000-07:002011-06-23T18:21:54.226-07:00So Sad BilasI don't get why he is all subdued and even-handed tonight. Where are the barbs? The outrage? The needless ripostes buried in sentence upon sentence of self-made jargon? It was there at the very beginning, actually only really with Irving. Have I read him wrong all along? Is about truth to power, and making hype quake in its boots through a science all his own? Or is Bilas a dick who realizes that, if the target is a future All-Star, it's not really bullying? Without him, the draft just isn't at its hallucinatory best.<br /><br />I am pouring myself some wine.<br /><br />Also, people drafted naked. That's where this league is headed.Bethlehem Shoalshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14741602514986329384noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2427326923542028289.post-49629608322949834532011-06-23T18:14:00.000-07:002011-06-23T18:16:10.228-07:00OkayAs a guy who wears cargo shorts and flip flops eight months out of the year (you do know that Chicago is a beach town) I'll make no more comments on this, but Kahwi Leonard has been easily topped by the guy who has an airbrushed David Stern t-shirt.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2427326923542028289.post-18730936917237579422011-06-23T18:10:00.000-07:002011-06-23T18:17:06.475-07:00Keep Sleeping On PacersLonger, weirder, faster than you ever think, they just got even more of that in George Hill. Even Hansbrough ... he's far from orthodox, at least not in terms of what he does or how he does it.<br /><br />Kenneth Faried to the Knicks would have been a good one.<br /><br />Spike believes in Donnie Walsh. I always wonder if there's ever communication between him and the front office.<br /><br />Grunwald's look screams "I have a yacht idling outside".Bethlehem Shoalshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14741602514986329384noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2427326923542028289.post-63045630897847808082011-06-23T18:03:00.000-07:002011-06-23T18:05:27.787-07:00[Really Bad Violent Femmes Joke]Hand size is the new wingspan.<br /><br />I think Bilas hinted earlier that there is a wingspan appropriate to one's given frame. Is that true?<br /><br />How did they decide who got to wear the hat and who didn't? Jimmer was the first for a while.<br /><br />About time for some trades to happen.Bethlehem Shoalshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14741602514986329384noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2427326923542028289.post-65430276310591944992011-06-23T18:01:00.000-07:002011-06-23T18:04:16.044-07:00Kawhi Leonard's suitOh gosh. A man capable of such lapels will not love Indianapolis. He will think of where I-65 can take him.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0